What will we be having this evening?

I realize, that when a person or a group goes out to eat, they expected to be given good service, be treated as a guest should be treated, and feel happy and welcomed wherever they are. Yes. I couldn't agree more with this.

Something that people sometimes don't seem to get, is that there are unspoken rules when it comes to how you act in a restaurant, how you treat your server, etc. I would like to go over a few of these rules. 

1. Basic dining out etiquette: If you had good service, tip your server well.  If you are one of those people who tips five dollars no matter what, even if the bill is $70, please stay home and cook yourself a nice meal.  It kills our night, and wastes our time when a table for four is taken up for two hours, just for us to make five bucks. I totally get that maybe you just like the food at a particular establishment, but it's rude to sit in a server's section forever and not tip them their deserved 15-20%. "Verbal tips" don't count (ie "That was the best service I've ever had here!" or "They should make you a manager in this place.").  If you say something nice to me but leave me a dollar after you've finished your steak, you won't have made up for anything. Please don't kid yourself.  We're here to please, but this is also how we make our living. Basically, if you plan to go out, plan to tip.  Don't only budget for the cost of the food.

2.  A fine dining establishment is not a Circus Circus.  Don't bring your four children here to run around the restaurant while you sit and drink a beer.  I won't be sorry when they blindly run around a corner and make me accidentally drop a tray of booze on their head.  Not my fault there, sorry.

3.  If I card you, take it as a damn compliment.  Don't get pissed at me if you are thirty-five, forgot your ID, and now you're on a really hot date and don't want to look stupid because you have to go back to your house to get it.  It's my job, not my problem.  I can get fired for crap like that.  It doesn't matter if you aren't there to sting me, my boss is probably still going to care.

4. Server: "Here is your food, enjoy! Can I get you anything else as long as I'm here?"
Guy at table:  "Oh, can I please get another beer?"
Server:  "Absolutely, I'll be right back."
(returns with beer, more than happily)
Other guy at table:  "Oh, can I get some mayo?"
Server:  "Sure, no problem."
(returns with mayo)
Other guy's wife:  "Can I get a water?"

If this isn't self-explanatory enough, just show it to your friend who works at that one restaurant.  They'll explain exactly why, by the time the server comes back with the beverage the fourth person at the table asks for, the drink is mostly made up of ice.

5.  It's about nine o'clock, our dinner rush just ended. We're cleaning off all the tables. A new table talks in. We have one dirty table but there are plenty of places to sit. I don't know why exactly this is, but it always seems to be the case: The people who just walked in always seem to be drawn to the one table we haven't cleaned off yet. Even when there is a perfectly good table right next to it that has been completely cleaned off and wiped down.  Please don't sit at the dirty one, it makes me feel like I'm not working fast enough, even after I just got my ass kicked by the dinner rush. 
One other note about this: even if it is the only open table, please wait to sit at it until we've cleaned it off.  If you tell me you want that table, I PROMISE I won't let anyone else sit at it.  It's just the nice thing to do.

6.  Servers should always tell you their name when greeting you, so you know how to get our attention when we walk by.  If we for whatever reason don't do that, you can always say "Excuse me." Whistling, clearing your throat loudly, or shaking your empty glass will only make us think you are an asshole.

7.  You didn't like the food.  I am terribly sorry.  No really, I am being honest; we want you to enjoy your experience here.  You should not have to pay for a meal that you didn't enjoy.  We will be happy to take it off the bill for you if it is apparent that you didn't like it (I will presume if you still ate the whole thing that it probably wasn't so bad).  Just keep in mind: Your server did not cook your food, nor did they pick it out for you.  Please don't take this out on them.  If I am sweet as pie to you during your dining experience, and you are damn near ready to make me your new best friend before the food gets to you, don't stiff me on the tip because you didn't like what you ate.  That part truly isn't my fault.  I'm still just as good a server as anyone else here.  I will relay complaints about the food to the manager and/or the kitchen.

8.  I will leave my stress at the door if you do.  Let make each other's day pleasant please. Honestly I don't even mind if you want to whine to me about your day, as I will probably sympathize with you, but, please don't take your stress out on me.  I just came to work, not to absorb your negative energy for you.


I am not saying that everyone who goes out to eat is like this.  I wait on tons of people every day that I get along with swimmingly.  I like my job, otherwise I wouldn't keep doing it.   Sometimes, though, people don't really understand the difference between server and servant.  Just be nice to the people who bring you your food.  They work hard too.