should auld acquaintance be forgot?

So I'm drinking beer at 2:15, at my place of work.  My friend/boss just now delivered two cookies on a little plate for me because he thought I seemed down.  I have good friends.

I won't lie, I am fucking confused as shit, and I don't know what to do with myself anymore. My close friends will all tell me "Your problem is that you don't know how to make a decision and stick with it."  Okay, the problem has been identified, so now what?  Do I now just stick with decisions even after I start feeling like I made the wrong one?  Here's my usual progression:

Dilemma is presented.
I make choice.
I am happy, or at the very least content, for a day, maybe a couple of days.
Feelings of doubt, discomfort, "what ifs" begin to resonate all the way through me.
I struggle internally for about a week, maybe more.
Progression repeats itself.

This wouldn't be such a big deal if I were the only one being affected by this crap, in fact, were that the case I probably wouldn't have such a shitty time with this.  I was recently essentially told what an awful person I am. That I can get away with all I get away with because I'm an attractive person.  While part of me wants to be snarky and say "Thank you, that is nice that you think I am attractive," I know that it's totally valid, even if they were only saying it because they were upset.

These are my 2011 resolutions:
Quit smoking
Be less selfish
Stop bullshitting people including myself

I think if I can do all of these things, then not only will the people around me be happier, but I'll be more satisfied with myself. (Well, yeah, duh, I guess I'm just saying that).  I think I also need to learned to be less afraid of people other than myself getting hurt by my actions. Even though that sounds incredibly selfish, sometimes there is no way around that when one has shit to get done.

Wouldn't it be so great if we were all just run by computers, and were programmed to get through life exactly as we should starting at birth?  Age 2, initiate walking. Age 18, decide against buying pack of Lucky Strikes.  Age 24, emotions shutting down, activate logic. 

Ugh. This is depressing. I'm gonna go smoke. I hope I actually follow through with this year's resolutions. Last year I think it was to kill myself if I still lived here by the winter of 2010.